Letter from Ana Jaroslavna Rjurikovic to father Jaroslav the Wise
“Hello, my dear daddy! I am writing to you, prince of the whole Russia, I your faithful daughter Anechka, Ana Jaroslavna Ryurikovic, now the French queen. Where did you send me, sinful one? To the stinking hole, in France, in the city of Paris, be cursed! You told me, the French – are a smart people, and they don’t even know about the stove. As the winter begins, they immediately light the fireplace. The entire castle is smoked from him, there is smoke in all rooms, and heat is not even for a cure. I’m only saved from the Russian spooky beavers here. I tried to wakeup them and explain to them about stoves. She was drawing, showing drawings – explaining that it is not some science. ”Madam – they are answering – it is impossible. ” I tell them: “Don’t be lazy, go to Russia, we have a furnace in every wooden hut, and idiots in stone palaces. “And they will to me:”Madam, we don’t believe it. So there could be a box with fire in the house and a fire would not break out? Oh, non – non! “I swear to them it can. They tell me “You Russians, – barbarians, sciphs, asians, these are your sorcery. Listen, we hope you won’t tell anyone about this, or they will set us all on fire. “
Do you know daddy, what are they eating here? You won’t believe me – frogs! In our country even the simplest people would be ashamed to put that in their mouths, and here the dukes and duchesses eat it, and they still boast about it. And they eat chops too. They take a piece of meat, beat it with a hammer, throw it on the grill and eat. Spoons are still news to them, and that hasn’t been seen yet in Venice villas. I once cooked chicken for my husband King Henry. He was licking his fingers. “The anchor is shouting. – Josh! “. I’m preparing him again. He shouts again: “Anchor! “I tell him:” Your stomach will hurt! “He asks me then:”What is that? “
I was telling him about Claudio Gallen. He says to me ” you black. Listen, don’t tell anyone that, the Pope will order us to be burned at the bonfire. “
Second time I say to Henry: “Let’s teach these jokers of yours about Alexandria. “He:”And what is that? “I tell him the history of the war of Alexander the Macedonian. – ” And who is he? ” Then I tell him about Antifen the Younger. And he will say to me: Oh, no, no! This is incredible! One man can’t conquer so many countries. “I’ll show him the book then. He frowned and said: “I’m not a priest, so let me read. In our Europe, kings can’t read. Be careful who you show this to, otherwise my counts and dukes will stab you with daggers. ”That’s how life is here, daddy.
And we were also visited by Saracians (Arabs). No one speaks Arabic but me, and the queen had to translate while the dukes gritted loudly with their teeth. I’m not afraid, my idols are always by my side. Other things are terrible too. These Saracians invented alcohol (Arab. – spirit ). It’s stronger than our porridge and honey, not like Polish vodka.
That’s why I’m writing to you daddy, so you won’t let even a single barrel of that enter Russia. That’s the way of the gods! That will be fatal for Russian man.
I bow to you and say goodbye, your forever faithful daughter Anna Jaroslavna Ryurikovic, and by husband Anna Regina Francorum. “
Taken from Stozar Son of Sergius
Translated by Sladjana Lazic
I would add….
So much about western civilization and their values.