SummerSimo Travel Troubles Notes and The Purring Page

As I sit here, surrounded by what I can only describe as the charmingly eerie silence of the post-apocalyptic world, I find myself reflecting on the events that led me to become humanity’s unlikely savior. Yes, you read that correctly. I, armed with nothing but a rubber duck and a roll of duct tape, have managed to not just survive but thrive in the midst of a zombie apocalypse.

It all started on what seemed like an ordinary Tuesday. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and then, as if someone had flipped a switch, chaos ensued. Zombies emerged, as if they were participants in a grotesque flash mob nobody asked for. As luck would have it, I found myself in the bathroom when the first zombie tried to make my acquaintance. Panicked, I grabbed the first “weapons” I could find – a rubber duck that was perched on the edge of the tub from last night’s bath and a roll of duct tape because, well, duct tape fixes everything, right?

The first encounter was a bit of a blur. As the zombie lunged at me, I did what any sane person would do: I threw the rubber duck at it. To my utter shock, the zombie was momentarily confused. This gave me just enough time to wrap its legs together with duct tape. As it stumbled and fell, I made my escape, marveling at my newfound zombie-fighting technique.

Word of my survival skills spread quickly among the remaining human population. I started holding workshops titled “How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse with a Rubber Duck and a Roll of Duct Tape.” People laughed at first, thinking it was a joke. But oh, how their laughter changed to awe when they saw the technique in action.

The rubber duck, it turns out, is the perfect distraction. Zombies, with their limited cognitive abilities, are perplexed by its soft, squeezable body and the squeaking noise it makes. This gives survivors the precious seconds needed to incapacitate the undead with duct tape, which, I discovered, is surprisingly effective in rendering zombies immobile.

Now, I roam the wasteland, a rubber duck in one pocket and a roll of duct tape slung over my shoulder, spreading knowledge and laughter in a world that desperately needs it. They call me “The Duck Taper,” a title I wear with pride.

So, here’s to surviving the apocalypse with the most unlikely of heroes: a rubber duck and a roll of duct tape. Who knew the key to humanity’s survival would be found not in weapons and warfare, but in bath toys and adhesive? In this new world, laughter is our greatest weapon, and I am its wielder.