SummerSimo Travel Troubles Notes and The Purring Page

Red flag behavior in my personal level of decision is any behavior that indicates unhealthy or manipulative behavior in a relationship. It can be hard to recognize at first, but it can cause serious problems over time. Some examples of red flag behavior are:

• Lying or hiding important information from you, such as their past, their finances, their whereabouts, or their feelings.
• Controlling or isolating you from your friends, family, hobbies, or interests. They may also try to make you feel guilty or insecure for having a life outside of them.
• Disrespecting or criticizing you, your opinions, your values, or your appearance. They may also mock, belittle, or humiliate you in front of others.
• Blaming you for their own mistakes, problems, or emotions. They may also refuse to take responsibility for their actions or apologize when they hurt you.
• Manipulating or gaslighting you into doubting your own reality, memory, or sanity. They may also twist your words, deny their behavior, or make false accusations against you.
• Abusing you physically, emotionally, verbally, sexually, or financially. They may also threaten to harm you, themselves, or someone you care about if you don’t do what they want.

Normally I use some basic observation tools:

A first impression is the initial evaluation that someone establishes about another person based on their appearance, behavior, and communication. It can have a lasting impact on how they perceive and interact with that person in the future. Some signs to look at for a first impression are:

• Facial expression: The face is one of the most expressive parts of the body and can convey a lot of information about one’s mood, attitude, and personality. A smile, for example, can indicate friendliness, warmth, and confidence, while a frown can suggest anger, sadness, or displeasure.
• Eye contact: The eyes are often said to be the windows to the soul and can reveal a lot about one’s interest, attention, and honesty. Making eye contact with someone can show that you are engaged, respectful, and trustworthy, while avoiding eye contact can imply that you are shy, nervous, or dishonest.
• Body language: The way one moves and positions their body can also communicate a lot of nonverbal messages. For instance, having an open posture, such as uncrossing your arms and legs, leaning forward, and nodding, can signal that you are receptive, attentive, and cooperative, while having a closed posture, such as crossing your arms and legs, leaning back, and shaking your head, can indicate that you are defensive, bored, or hostile.
• Voice: The tone, pitch, volume, and speed of one’s voice can also affect how others perceive them. For example, speaking in a clear, calm, and confident voice can demonstrate that you are knowledgeable, assertive, and competent, while speaking in a mumbled, shaky, or hesitant voice can suggest that you are unsure, anxious, or insecure.
• Appearance: The way one dresses and grooms themselves can also influence how others judge them. For example, wearing clean, neat, and appropriate clothes can show that you are professional, respectful, and organized, while wearing dirty, wrinkled, or inappropriate clothes can imply that you are sloppy, rude, or careless.

These are some of the signs to look at for a first impression. However, it is important to remember that first impressions are not always accurate or fair. They can be influenced by many factors beyond one’s control such as stereotypes, biases, cultural differences, and situational contexts. Therefore, it is advisable to keep an open mind and give people a chance to show their true selves before forming a definitive opinion about them.